Close of the Cecil Sagas

Because of the help Cecil gave me after I suffered a traumatic brain injury, I am able to work, ride, and live again.  In 2008 I was in a major accident that changed my life.  Previously an athletic eventing rider and trainer, for some time after the accident I was in a wheelchair and then a walker, with balance problems and visual deficits.  After returning home to our training stable from the rehab facility I wanted to see Cecil, my motivation to go outside with my walker.  Not only was Cecil, a barely five year old thoroughbred, not afraid of this device, but he would come right over to the fence to see me on my assisted trips outside.  Because of the location of the brain injury, we knew I would have trouble with motion in the saddle.  Eventually, though, I wanted to ride again.  

Four months after the accident, on my birthday, all I wanted was to ride Cecil.  He had been under saddle for about a year.  With the help of my husband and a friend, we attempted the ride hippotherapy style.  I was able to mount with my husband as a spotter, but Cecil knew I was not quite right.  My young, playful horse then proceeded to walk slowly and carefully, shifting his weight under me to ensure I didn’t tip over.  With the help of my friend at his head, my husband at my side, and my horse underneath me I continued the process of recovery.  

During another ride several months later I was mounted on Cecil, walking independently in the arena.  Suddenly the wind turned on, as it is prone to do here in Northern Colorado.  I found myself dizzy, nauseated, and unable to walk back to the barn under my own power.  Cecil, sensing I was not steady, cautiously came to a complete stop.  I dismounted (crawled down from the saddle is more accurate) and held the tack with a death grip until I was able to stand without falling.  I wrapped my fingers in his mane and leaned hard on his shoulder.  I focused as fully as I could on the gate, and said “Cecil, I need you to get me there safely.”  With most of my weight leaning on him, Cecil took small, slow steps to match my own halting gait, though his were in a perfectly straight line.  He precisely guided me to the tack room, where I sat on the floor and he patiently waited for my friend to come get him.

I am now two and a half years past the accident that cemented my friendship with Cecil.  Largely because of him, I am in the saddle regularly.  I have returned to work as a horse trainer, and Cecil and I competed extensively this past season.  There is a special bond between this horse and me, and he will remain my horse, my physical therapist, my partner in competition, and my friend as long as we live.

 
Written in 2010

Trail riding at Red Mountain

Munching hay at home at Bit of Honey

Dressage in Fort Collins

Bubble wrap

Four-year-old headshot

Helping me recover from the brain injury

We call him Hot Lips

The kindest eye

Clinic with Olympic coach

Cecil's wings

Leaping up a bank

Schooling stadium jumping at the Colorado Horse Park

Ever the athlete

Leaping into water

Schooling cross-country at the horse park

Brave big guy

My favorite view

Cecil's first horse show as a 4 year old

Finally eating mash after returning home from the hospital

Lights will guide you home.  I will try to fix you.

Love of mine, someday you will die, I'll be right behind.  I'll follow you, into the dark.  If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the "no" on their vacancy signs, if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I'll follow you into the dark.

Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace.

May you know you're loved, may you shine above, may your spirit soar, there's no pain anymore, may you find your way in peace.  May your soul be blessed, may your body rest.  And there's no more harm, in your savior's arms.  See you fly away in the sky.  Did you hear the call of angels one and all?  May you find your way in peace.

Coldplay, and Death Cab for Cutie, EastMountainSouth,